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OKCupid's data shows that men receive replies to about 20-50% of their online dating messages, depending on their attractiveness — and I'm going to go out on a limb and say most would like to move that number up to 100%.
While sometimes it's your profile that makes women think twice, I can also attest that your message itself can kill your chances of a response.
Either the guy is trying to see if I’m cool with him not being black, or the guy is trying to see if I’m cool with him being skinny.
For me, the answer is always the same: “I like all types of guys.” I mean, if I’m on a date with you, it’s because I’m open to dating you, no matter what you look like. So, are you trying to make me to cry on our first date?
” Or should I say, “I get really clingy around month three and it scares guys off, so here I am, solo!
” The world already gives single girls the side-eye; there really is no need to bring up singledom on dates.
And please don't ask us multiple choice questions about how hard we’ll work to look sexy for you..” I’m not an encyclopedia.
If you haven’t heard of someone’s profession or interests, that's what Google is for — because explaining your life's work to someone in a Tinder message can be really exhausting. If we haven't responded, it's because we don't want to.
It leaves us asking ourselves either “Did he read my profile?
You can give it one more try if you really want to make sure the message didn't get lost in someone’s inbox, but informing us that we haven’t gotten back to you in a timely enough fashion is not exactly going to charm us. Using pickup lines Nobody wants to feel like they're being manipulated.
But pickup lines are designed to make women feel this way — because the user always has a specific goal in mind, and he's not achieving it by genuine means.
You don't need to demonstrate your poetic genius or sexual prowess (in fact, with the latter, please don’t) to get us to like you.
Because, cheesy as it sounds, the women you'll truly mesh with will like you for who you are. But at least if you avoid these traps and someone still doesn't respond, it will be through no fault of your own.
When men say this to me, it makes me feel like something is wrong with me — especially because 99% of the men who use corny lines like this will not make any moves to take me off the market. If his last three girlfriends looked like Jennifer Lopez, I may feel insecure, but if his last three girlfriends looked like Rebel Wilson, I might wonder if he’s a chubby chaser.